With a week to go before the inaugural PCC players vs social golf game, respected club blog The Penicuik Patter was delighted when current club captain Matthew “Faldo” Foulds and club stalwart Ross “Mulligan” Liddle agreed to sit down to look ahead to this weekend’s event and what hopefully will form a long lasting club competition.
In a question and answer format familiar to anyone with a close interest in quality sports journalism (e.g. Football Focus), Liddle took on the role of inquisitive reporter first before passing the baton to Foulds. Here’s what they had to say:
Liddle to Foulds from the Pavilion end. (Best Richie B voice)
RL: Skipper, first things first, you have helped organise this debacle and then we find out you are not actually playing? No sign of leadership quality surely?
MF: Thank you for the friendly start Ross, no juicy half volley there. Devastatingly poor planning means I miss out, I’m also carrying a niggling wrist injury (Liddle scoffs). However I have full confidence this event will grow into a classic and I certainly will be involved next year, quote me on that!
RL: It’s quite a big field, where is the smart money at for punters wanting to back a winner in 2014?
MF: Well my heart hopes for a player win obviously, but the head tells me the smart money should go on the social mob. Having said that I’m told Cammy Craw has a good length from the rough, and Michael Yan Hip has a lovely short game so stranger things have happened.
RL: One of the highlights of any golf event is that final winning putt on the 18th green who are you backing to be a shark on the short stuff?
MF: It’s all in the hips Ross, a number of our lads know where the hole is, including yourself, but experience is the real key so I’ll back Stewart Davidson as a sharp shooter.
RL: Heavy rough or deep bunker? Your Call.
MF: oh a deep bunker definitely.
RL: Again why did you decide it was a good idea to take on a bunch of experienced golfers at their own game? I’m hoping you and Dave Clement have at least a few tricks up the sleeve to give us a chance?
MF: If you are implying match-fixing, foul play or in fact any form of sabotage I’m afraid you will be sadly disappointed Ross. Again this is an event that brings social and player members together to raise a bit of cash for the club.
RL: Typical w#nker answer from you Foulds. We are going to get humped!
RL: Do you think Chris Ashforth’s gear is going to be a distraction for the other competitors, I’ve heard he thinks he’s Ian Poulter?
MF: I’d be disappointed if it wasn’t. Back to your last question gaining an advantage through dressing like a tw$t is by no means foul play in my book, its to be encouraged if anything.
RL: Just finally then, give us your best golf joke for the 19th hole Skip.
MF: Golfer says to Caddy – “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course sir. We left that an hour ago.”
RL: Haha good one, Thanks very much for your time today Skip.
Foulds round the wicket to R Liddle. (Jonathan Agnew)
MF: Let me start Ross by asking how you have wintered, I’ve not really spoken with you since the club Bond Night? Any stories for the boys?
RL: No comment
MF: Rather disappointing dead bat there Swid. Anyway you said earlier there is a good field for our golf day, who do you see as likely candidates to be taking away the prize for lowest amount of Stableford Points?
RL: Crawford, loudmouth, no short game.
MF: Will you take any confidence into the cricket season if you send a few booming drives up the fairway?
RL: Talent always shines, they call me sachin you know (Foulds shakes head in utter disbelief)
MF: Picture the scene, 18th hole and by some miracle you are still in the mix, Sand wedge chip, or a 7 iron bump?
RL: Sandwich and chips please!
MF: There are a few potential tasty battles looming, Clement and Wilson, Steel and Davidson should be fireworks. If you had a choice who would you like to come up against or play with this weekend and why?
RL: Would love Stewart Davidson for the encouraging “C’mon Laddies” but I’ll say Cammy Crawford my partner in crime (Liddle winks as if there is more meaning to that statement than golf)
MF: Plus Fours or waterproofs?
RL: Oh waterproofs, I don’t mind it wet
MF: Finally then Ross, what will you be ordering back at the clubhouse Bar?
RL: Glitter bombs for the boys
MF: Thanks Ross, wishing you best of luck.